Where I've Been
You may have noticed that I haven’t been around much these past few months. Ok, that’s putting it a bit mildly; I’ve been entirely absent since Christmas. I’d say its been a whirlwind, but a hurricane would be more like it.
So, so many things have happened. I traveled outside the country for the first time. We dealt with repeated bouts of illness. My baby boy started school, then he changed schools. I got paid to write for the first time. And the second. We bought and renovated a new house. We moved across town. We got our old house rental ready. Both kiddos had birthdays.
And other, more difficult and personal things happened, things that I’m still figuring out how to share. I’m not the first person to feel this way; I think that many of us have hard things pressed between the highlights of life like dried flowers between book pages. If you tuck too many away for too long, though, they become weeds. I started off taking a hiatus from blogging for the holidays, then for our cruise, and so on, always finding a new reason to put it off under the guise of busyness. Too much to do; I’ll get back to it when there’s time.
Really, though, I was hiding. It’s tough to put on your cheery, aesthetically-pleasing face for the internet when that’s not your inner reality. It feels hollow, empty. Hypocritical, even. Especially when your social media feed is filled with people who seem to have nailed that perfectly curated vulnerability. Eventually, I ran out of energy for putting a well-lit spin on everything, and being the party pooper doesn’t garner many likes.
But the whole reason I started this blog in the first place was to write about life. Not just the curated version, not a cheap imitation of someone else’s, the real thing. And that’s what I hope to get back to. I want to tell the truth, and to write for the pure joy of creating something. Even if its not always joyful.
Maybe no one ever reads my little blog, and that’s ok. It’s easy to think that your pursuit isn’t worthy if its not well-known or making heaps of money, but that’s incredibly false. There’s so much more to creating, so much more to life. Hopefully, you’ll follow along as I navigate it.